Four teens charged as adults in locker room sexual assault

When I first read articles like this, I instantly start to worry about my own children—their safety, their mental health, all of those motherly thoughts. Then I get angry. Why?! How do children even begin to think this is okay? Why didn’t anyone say anything? I understand the victim not saying anything—the shame and fear that keep you silent. The shame of seeming weak. The shame of being sodomized. The homophobic fear of sodomy.  The fear of being attacked. The fear of not being believed or heard.  But, there were others who heard the screams and who witnessed what was happening. Why did they stay silent? I’m sure there is fear and shame in witnessing as well. (I will need to do more research on this aspect of violence.) I hate that I can rationalize the silence.

After my initial anger, I automatically move to prevention. How can we prevent this from happening? I’m sick of having to always focus on prevention from a victim standpoint. How do we protect ourselves against rape? No! How do we teach people that this is unacceptable? We have these “no means NO” campaigns, but I think they start in high school or even college. And I think that’s too late. We need to be sending these messages in elementary school. Not necessarily the whole sex/rape, no means no, but basic respect and treatment of the human beings. We need more prevention education from a younger age and not just focusing on what we don’t do but also what we should do. That silence is not acceptable. That we must stand up for others in order to protect ourselves.  To remove the shame and fear that keep people silent. We have to teach ourselves to not rationalize the silence.